Transforming Feedback into Growth: Insights from a Texas-Based Leadership Coach
Last week, I had an initial call with a new executive coaching client who had been told she needed to enhance her executive presence to continue in her role. This type of feedback is common in leadership coaching—especially in discussions about executive presence—but for her, it felt like a judgment on her abilities. She interpreted it as a sign that she wasn’t "good enough."
As we delved deeper, she revealed longstanding feelings of being undervalued and unappreciated, which had gradually built up into anger and defensiveness. She even considered leaving a job she genuinely enjoyed, frustrated by the perceived lack of recognition from the executive team and board. She was at the point of thinking, "Accept me as I am, or don’t accept me at all."
Last week, I had an initial call with a new executive coaching client who had been told she needed to enhance her executive presence to continue in her role. This type of feedback is common in leadership coaching—especially in discussions about executive presence—but for her, it felt like a judgment on her abilities. She interpreted it as a sign that she wasn’t "good enough."
As we delved deeper, she revealed longstanding feelings of being undervalued and unappreciated, which had gradually built up into anger and defensiveness. She even considered leaving a job she genuinely enjoyed, frustrated by the perceived lack of recognition from the executive team and board. She was at the point of thinking, "Accept me as I am, or don’t accept me at all."
Why We Resist Feedback
In any career, feedback is inevitable. However, it’s natural to feel defensive when feedback feels personal or challenges our self-worth. We tend to put up barriers, disconnect, and protect ourselves from perceived criticism. When we feel unappreciated or overlooked, it’s easy to mentally pull away from the work or disengage entirely. Feedback that seems “constructive” on the surface can sometimes feel like a threat, turning a job we once enjoyed into a place we’d rather leave.
Reframing Feedback as a Tool for Growth
The reality is that feedback isn’t about rejection—it’s about growth. When we see feedback as an attack, we miss the opportunity to use it as a roadmap for advancement. For my client, the key will be reshaping her perspective on this feedback, seeing it not as a critique of her worth but as a constructive path toward career success. With the right strategies to strengthen her executive presence, she can leverage this feedback to thrive in her current role rather than walk away.
Steps to Embrace Feedback for Career Advancement
1. Recognize Feedback as a Resource: Feedback provides insights we may not see on our own. By viewing it as guidance rather than criticism, we open ourselves to growth.
2. Focus on Development, Not Defense: Instead of feeling defensive, use feedback as a tool to enhance your strengths and bridge gaps. A constructive response shows resilience and adaptability—qualities that strengthen your leadership.
3. Explore Feedback for Hidden Opportunities: Ask yourself, Where in my career have I dismissed feedback? Is there an opportunity to engage with feedback differently? These questions help you view feedback as “cheat codes” that maximize your career potential.
4. Take Action with a Growth Mindset: Apply specific strategies to address the feedback. In my client’s case, this means working on her executive presence and ensuring her contributions are recognized, which could bring new levels of fulfillment and influence in her role.
In any career, feedback is inevitable. However, it’s natural to feel defensive when feedback feels personal or challenges our self-worth. We tend to put up barriers, disconnect, and protect ourselves from perceived criticism. When we feel unappreciated or overlooked, it’s easy to mentally pull away from the work or disengage entirely. Feedback that seems “constructive” on the surface can sometimes feel like a threat, turning a job we once enjoyed into a place we’d rather leave.
Reframing Feedback as a Tool for Growth
The reality is that feedback isn’t about rejection—it’s about growth. When we see feedback as an attack, we miss the opportunity to use it as a roadmap for advancement. For my client, the key will be reshaping her perspective on this feedback, seeing it not as a critique of her worth but as a constructive path toward career success. With the right strategies to strengthen her executive presence, she can leverage this feedback to thrive in her current role rather than walk away.
Steps to Embrace Feedback for Career Advancement
1. Recognize Feedback as a Resource: Feedback provides insights we may not see on our own. By viewing it as guidance rather than criticism, we open ourselves to growth.
2. Focus on Development, Not Defense: Instead of feeling defensive, use feedback as a tool to enhance your strengths and bridge gaps. A constructive response shows resilience and adaptability—qualities that strengthen your leadership.
3. Explore Feedback for Hidden Opportunities: Ask yourself, Where in my career have I dismissed feedback? Is there an opportunity to engage with feedback differently? These questions help you view feedback as “cheat codes” that maximize your career potential.
4. Take Action with a Growth Mindset: Apply specific strategies to address the feedback. In my client’s case, this means working on her executive presence and ensuring her contributions are recognized, which could bring new levels of fulfillment and influence in her role.
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- to your health, wealth, and happiness, Ben